Teen to Teen talk

I'm not ur average girl who is crazy over some boy band or some rom com book or movie. But I'm a total backwards girl who is born in the wrong generation. I should have been born at my moms time in India. I swear. Yes I am that girl who u think is a dipper Indian. But I'm not an imigrant so don't even go there. I just love the old culture. They girls who where too shy to do anything. Like we have no shame now. And can somebody please tell when fuck became an everyday word. I feel people use the word fuck more than the wore the. I'm not joking. What is wrong with this generation. And what about the next generation who is straight up growing with us and technology. Like they won't know what it is like to make real friends and play outside. I have noticed parents nowadays they are over protective. And so don't give a fuck. Their kids be out smoking and "getting high" like since when was that "swag" what does swag even mean. I'm literally just typing what's in my head. Backo the overprotective parents. They are raising their kids like they are the only thing on earth. And teaching them no one is better than them. Also treating them like babies. Not teaching basic thing to live in this world like how to cook or how to I don t know deal with real people in the real world and problems and jobs. Like how to get them. You seriously need to let loose of ur kids but at the same time  knowing when to pull back and be strict   Also set boundaries but reasonable ones. That's it I nee to stop thinking. More importantly sleep. This what happens when I start writing blogs or in my diary 1 in the morning. Or when I start talking to my friends at this time. I just go too far. Gn and ignore this post but in the future when I get back to this I will laugh a lot but also read my advice and maybe follow it. My title has nothing to do with what I just wrote. Just a warning. Nice put a warning at the bottom. After they read ur u warn them lol. Sweg 

Positive vibes

My plan is very simple. I'm not going to go on a very strict diet which will have me not eating what I want and just exercising crazy. But instead I will eat what I want to but with a limit. And even treat myself once in awhile. My main thing will be to exercise for 1 hour everyday. No excuses. Not just anything but simple one. So basically in a book I wrote down what I will be doing everyday for 1 hour. After I recover obviously. I had a little accident u see. I fell and scrapped my knee hard. To the point where it was bleeding a lot. But as soon as I recover I will for my plan. So here it is. During my exercise hour this is what I will do. This is just an example.

Day 1: 

•15 squats

•20 jumping jacks

•20 donkey kicks

•10 sit ups

And I will do this with 30 seconds of rest between each. And do this again and again until 1 hour is up. Between each set I will get 1 minute break. This is my plan. I will post a blog everyday mentioning what I ate all day, how much water I drank and my exercise set. And how I feel. 

I will be eating what I usually eat just smaller portions of it throughout the day. Like have 5 light meals a day instead of 2 heavy ones. Also I will try to avoid junk food.

Now let's talk about my goals. My long term goal is to lose enough weight to feel confident in myself on my graduation day. I want to feel I like I have achieved my goal when i am on stage getting whatever it is u get for graduating from high school. This is my goal for 2017 June. I also have a short term goal for December 7 2015 which is exactly 2 months away and also happens to be my 16th birthday and I am going to India for Christmas so I want to feel a bit more confident about myself and meeting my aunts and uncles.

 I don't want to hear people telling me to lose weight anymore. It hurts my mom more than me. She told me this herself that it's hurts her a lot when people tell her to put me on a diet and lose some weight. I think that people should just keep their nose out of my business and think about what they are saying. They might not think about it but I hurts me and my mom the most when we have to hear stuff like that. It's not that I don't want. They need to understand but they don't.

One more thing. My dads mom was sooooo fat and sometimes I feel like I have inherited her genes. All my cousins from my dads side are like me. Fat. I don't see them a lot cus my parents are divorced since I was 2 but I have seen pictures of them. Ughhhh I just hate my dad.

Relax.... Positive vibes. Positive thoughts. 

Ok so to keep myself from losing hope and giving up I'm going to create a schedule which I will follow. After following it strictly for 2 weeks I will get the hang of it and won't need to look at it anymore.

 I'm going to create myself an inspiration board with quotes and all to keep me on track but it will be all secret from my mom and my friends just for myself to look at. Also I will write my goals and look at them everyday for inspiration. 

These are going to be the best 2 years of my life. It will also help boost my gtp because I need 300 hours of exercise to graduate high school and this is the perfect place to prove it. I will have my 300 hours done in no time and bonus lose weight!!

I'm just expressing my feelings

I am fat. And I don't like it when people give me the look when I talk to them. No matter how nice I will be. In their minds they will think that I am fat. My friends have told me this many times. In fact I was arguing with a friend last week and she said when we were in elementary school, everyone laugh at me for being ur friend because ur so fat. She said even though they said that ur fat I was still ur friend and i ignored everyone. That is what I call a true friend. She is my best friend now. And I also have more respect for her more than ever. Now that I think about it there were many times where my classmates made fun of me indirectly but I never understood it. Now thinking back I get all those jokes. "You played soccer? And wore shorts" like wow at that time I was confused but now I know what they meant. And the funny thing is I wasn't even that fat. I was average. My of my classmates and my so called friends had inside jokes about me which I found out about this year in grade 11. It broke me. To think I thought they were my friends. Anyway forget it. It's the past now. I was too inexperienced to get it. I just wish my friend had told me about it. Maybe I could have stood up for myself. Whenever I meet any new relatives or meet them after a long time they always have to comment on me being fat. Like I get it I'm fat. I'm aware of it. By u telling me that I'm fat is not a new thing. And u telling me to go on a diet or stop eating isn't helping. Don't u think that maybe I'm trying my best. Or that I don't watch what I eat. Do u think I like being fat. I just don't even know what to say anymore. It hurts me so much my aunt or uncle says that. I just want to cry. Sometimes at night I cry to myself thinking if I will ever be slim as I used to be. I am starting a new plan but I just needed to let that out and tell someone how I feel. I have kept this in me for so long. In my next blog I will share my plan. But to whoever that reads this I want to say one thing. I felt so good after saying all this. I don't care if no one reads it but I got it off my chest. And u know what I feel 10 times better than before. I may have cried while writing this but I can't explain how happy I feel telling someone how I feel. Thank you for reading this. 

I'm confused

I just don't get it. When I watch tv I see these girls on shows. I mean teens who are skinny and pretty average and they end up on these diets. Like crazy diets. For example they don't eat for 3-4 days and then they faint or something bad happens to them. At that moment I ask myself this question. Why are they trying to be slim? They already so skinny. I just don't get. Why do tv show writters make this type of shit? Excuse my language. Like if they are going to show something like that. At least the person be a little over weight or maybe have some fat! Like I'm not the skinniest person. I'm actually overweight but watching this makes want to cry. And wonder do girls in real want to lose weight when they have no weight to lose? My advice to whoever reads this is to tell teens like that to cut it out. Like stop. YOU ARE NOT FAT. Trust me. I know what it means to be fat.